12 Days Ago…
January 21, 2017
After an interesting phone call from my father today, I realized I didn’t say what I was going to do. I ultimately stopped blogging. I haven’t blogged on here since the 10th of January and in that sense I failed with keeping my New Year Resolution. I could sit here and go on and on about all of the excuses as to why I have not done it or I can sit here and be completely honest. I forgot.
Instead of telling you all some excuses like the fact that everything had been hectic being back at school and that my birthday was right around the corner or the fact that my friends and I wanted to catch up on coffee dates, I am honest in the fact that I simply forgot about it. It was one of those out of sight out of mind type things. I also thought it might be kind of boring to blog my every day adventures considering most days, well, they weren’t so adventurous.
After talking with my father about things I would even write about at this point, I realized that I had just been out of my element. I needed to go outside, take in the beautiful weather we have been having in Champaign lately and clear my mind. I needed to remember why I started blogging in the first place. What made me want to blog was derived on a goal. I had always wanted to publish a book. I figured for 365 days it would be cool to see where life took me and how much I can accomplish in one year. I also blog because of the fact that what I write can inspire and or help others. My motto has always been to put others before myself and to help others in any way I can. So, today I sit here and simply brainstorm. I brainstorm on the different things I’d love to write about and the different pieces of my life in which I have yet to come to terms with.
Today was about tranquility and rest. I spent most of my day asleep taking day naps, daydreaming in a room filled with tiffany blue with the sun perfectly hitting my face. My room is so light and airy and when the sun shines, it makes me feel at peace. My mind is at ease and although my day was spent mostly sleeping, it was a fulfilled day. Sometimes, all you need is rest and sleep to renew yourself and to do the things you said you would do.
I am going to think back to one of the chapter meetings I had last semester for Phi Mu. We were given a little 4×5 card that was blank and at the bottom it stated “because I said I would”. I was given instructions to write something that I would constantly do to better myself followed with because I said I would. Now, I was also not quick to jump the gun. I respectfully sat there with a blank stare on my face in hopes of what I could even write down. I wanted it to be something that I would actually do and not just for the sake of the activity that day. So I took it home and later that night was able to take my tiffany blue sparkly pen and write exactly what kept coming to mind. I wrote, “I will be a better version of myself everyday!” because I said I would.
You’re all probably thinking, well doesn’t everyone want to be a better version of themselves and improve their lives? Is that too broad of a goal that I wanted to achieve? No, and I am going to tell you why. To me, that means to better myself from the day before, to do more, to inspire, to think often and to reflect. To be a better version of yourself may be hard especially when the version of yourself may not be who you want it to be and sometimes accepting who you truly are can also be a challenge. The point is, is that everyone is too busy trying to be someone else or someone that they are not to impress someone else or because they think the person they are trying so hard to be may be what is the social norm these days. However, to me, I wanted to be Sara. I wanted to be a better Sara every single day. To be exactly that, meant to be happier and healthier and to be those things because I said I would.
After really reflecting on the call I had with my father, he definitely had some important topics he could see me writing upon. However, it was not about the topics or the fact that I had not been honest with myself in that I would keep something up every single day. It was about change. It was about being a better version of myself and I think I had been side tracked because it took a call with my father and a simple statement of, “Wow, you’re really slacking!” to know that I had not been true to myself. The first time he said that, I of course meant “what do you mean” considering all of what I feel like I am currently doing. He responded with, “Your blog.. The last time you posted anything was like the 10th!” It dawned on me at that moment that I didn’t do something that I said I would. Therefore, making my goal and promise to myself a lie.
Life is all about changes and accepting what each day brings you. In most cases, we as humans, tend to not follow through on our promises. In fact, we tend to make empty promises. Ones we cannot fulfill or do not ever plan to. That is what separates you from being the best version of yourself. So today is a lesson learned. A lesson learned that, if this was a real job in which I hope to have in the future, then I needed to remind myself that if I say I am going to do something then I am going to do it. No if’s and’s or but’s! Moving forward, sometimes all it takes is someone to get you back on track by asking a simple question that really makes you think and or a statement that really makes you question yourself. What is important is what you do with that question or statement that can better yourself in the future.